HORSEY AND HAWK

Fleas freeze or flee
When warm,they swarm
A flea fighter
Needs soap in water
Or a fireplace lighter
   



Harson Kinney was on the way to see Hercules Knapper III.  "Horsey" Knapper.
     In the late 1800's, Hercules Knapper was a child laborer in a southern Ohio shaft coal mine.  Steel cars on steel rail wheels were used to get the coal out of the dark and into the outside.  People pushed the carts in and out.
     Hercules tripped and grabbed the side of a moving cart to balance himself .  Thoughtlessly, he put both feet on a rail.  If not for a nearby forge, he would have bled to death.  The wounds were cauterized closed with a flame red rod.  Hercules was fainted away but still jerked with pain.  Legend is he never screamed once during the entire ordeal.
         By the time he was fully grown, he'd gone back to work at the mine, sans toes.  Had a shoemaker fashion work boots.  He'd learned to walk bare.
     Mostly, it was a gait designed to fall forward, hurriedly, to wherever he was headed and stop by  tucking into a stiff-legged jump.  A few feet to greet or a dash to dig, everything ended in a jump/stop.
     Most people would brace to be bumped but Herc always had his brakes on in time.  He may end up inches from a face but never on toes.
     As far as on-your-knees digging, Hercules Knapper had no equal.  He worked like a horse and left a print like a horse.  He was a Horse.  Horsey Knapper.
     During his recuperation, his upper-body strength increased.  He could launch himself to the floor, balance on his hands and kick backwards.  It was perfected as a form of self defense so Hercules seldom demonstrated it except for a group.  They would watch him propel a board from the hold of two miners, who had to not grip but just balance it so when it flew it didn't take some flesh with it.
     Hercules' first son was named after him and Herc II named his first Herc III.  Of course, they were all called "Horsey" by every generation.
     Harson Kinney's grandfather worked as a kid with Hercules and they remained in touch as friends for the rest of their lives.  They made certain each was introduced to every kid and grand-kid of the other.  Harson's grandfather nicknamed him "Hawk."  He had met all the Horsey Knappers and was nearly as close to Hercules III as his grandfather had been to Hercules I.
     "Hawk, did you pedal that bike all the way out here, again?"
     "Onliest way I know, Horseman.  Besides, I don't ride any further than I can walk back."
     "Well, I know you're ready for a bottle and a bowl.  Come on in.  I'm at the end of a major flea battle."
     "Man, when you going to learn to keep that dog on Frontline all year long?"
     "This time was different.  She didn't have a flea for two months and I let her slide.  Then when they came back, it took a week to get them all after I used the medication."
     "What's different?  You did that before."
     "Yeah, but that was the first time I started treating her."
     Hawk followed Horsey into the house and they sat in facing recliners.  After a few Blue Ribbons and  rosewood bowlfuls, the two men began talking about fleas.
     Hawk's grandfather never allowed a dog into his house, but every summer there were fleas to deal with.  The old man kept small jars closeby with soapy water in them.  He would pinch them tightly and drop them into the water.  In water, fleas can move to the edge and climb out, but with soap in the water, they quickly drown and sink.  Both men admitted they still use this method.
     "You remember when I moved in with the Sweet Baboo?"
     "Oh yeah, evrybody said you were as nuts as her."
     "Well, that fool that had rented the place took his dog and left a jillion fleas.  We used a carpet scrubber with insecticide in the water and that pretty well wiped them out."
     "And then you painted and fixed up and she sold the crib right out from under you.  This dude I knew in California told about gathering fleas in his apartment on a white plush bedroom rug.  Seems they were attracted to it but had difficulty jumping from it and would burrow to the backing.  He claimed he plugged an iron in, after getting the rug loaded with the little bloodsuckers, and hot ironed them.  It was his contention that the collective screams chilled the remaining fleas to leave."
     "That reminds me of my cousin's flea war story about wearing white socks throughout the house and picking fleas off by the hundreds."
      "Me and my old lady had overnight guests, one time, and they slept in bags on the floor.  During the night, the dude said it felt like sand dropping in his face, then explained it was jumping fleas. We had no pet and hadn't noticed any infestation.  After a search, she found a clump of fleas in the lining of a foot stool, like a swarm of bees.  The chick that was crashing, grabbed a can of hair spray and nearly emptied it to petrify them."
      "I've used a low wattage bulb hanging over a container of soapy water to get rig of them in rentals I was cleaning that time."
       "Ah, man, that reminds me of that time in Imperial Beach when we came back to the crib after a week of camping at Lake Havasu City.  This one bedroom was totally infested with fleas.  These two guys took a white stray cat and held it by its legs and dragged it across the carpet.  That cat was howling with helplessness and by the time they tossed it outside it was speckled."
      "You know, man, I was sitting here in sweat pants the other day and a couple fleas were coming up my leg and I grabbed a cigarette lighter.  Just a flick of flame and they both were fried in place."
     "Well dig this, man, a flea's dick is so long and fine that if you were a flea, you could screw a woman on the bed through the keyhole, from the other side of the door!  That's why I think when two fleas are hooked up, they still can motivate in unison.  I figure that is the reason you usually see two when they are looking for skin to saw.  You know they have a saw edge to slice their way to blood?"
     "Yeah, I've heard that.  Here, load this while I get a couple more Rib-bons."
     When Horsey returned, Hawk asked him why the only lighters were the long ones for firsplaces?
     "That's so I don't have to bend too far to do a little flea barbecuing."
            
                      
        

A WOMAN SCORNED

     A lady who seemed to recognize me asked about my Lake Alma training runs and without too much thought, I gave her a brief history of my trouble with the state employees regarding my dog.
     After seven months of training her to run with me through the lake grounds, with emphasis on her using the other side of the guard rail at the lake dam road, I was run down and arrested for having her off leash.  There wasn't a day I wasn't observed with my dog by one or more Lake Alma State employees and there was never a mention of a "leash law."  Of course, now, this is ancient history because the Ranger, Deputy Ranger, Ranger trainees, cruiser, 4X pickup, boat and trailer are gone due to budget cuts.
     Anyway, I had to go to court and was fined.
     "...from that time on, that little fat bitch out there is constantly harassing me about my dog..."
     The lady I'd been talking too, just before a foot race, a state employee I'd spoken to, once, and forgotten, was a co-worker of  the little fat bitch.
       Since then, I've been marked.  My dog hates the leash at the lake.  She pulls me through it, so she can be unhooked again.  It was uncanny the number of times my dog and I would be the only citizens, and a state truck would be circling.  Paranoid?  Absolutely.  Especially, those days when I'd do the entire lake run with the dog off leash.
      One winter day, I walked my dog to the frozen lake and crossed it to the island.  While we were tramping around in the snow, lfb circled the lake six times, waiting for us to come down.  I hooked up the dog and walked back across the lake.  You know she was out of her parked vehicle and approaching me to put me dog on the leash.  Even though she was, I still had to be reminded that dog wasn't "on the leash, before."  Since we were the only people on the grounds, and the exit wasn't far away, I began a tirade about what her job description was and did it include picking individuals to torment.  All the while, I was backing away to leave.
     There's a bridge from the dam/highway to the lake island.  I used to unhook my dog for that part of the run and let her swim off the island.  The state put a dog park area at one end of the lake with a list of qualifications that few dogs in the county could pass.  lfb was waiting at the end of the bridge with a warning for me and my dog.
     All local highway traffic was detoured across the dam and through the lake area.  There is room for two vehicles, but two semis are squeezing it.  My dog refused to go that way, so I unhooked her to run on the other side of the guard rail.  The fourth vehicle we met was lfb.  She mailed me a summons to court.  This resulted in my second leash law fine.
     It's been so many years since I surely hooked her up as soon as we reached the lake limits that my dog is too old to run with me anymore.
      But dig this, the route I've run around the lake and across the bridge and around the island, for decades, the run I named the "donut" because of the island "donut hole" cutout, is closed.
     The bridge is wood over steel girders.  The I-beams that support it are rusted, but the weight on it is  perhaps five people at a time, fishing.  I'd guess eighty percent of the people who fish at Lake Alma, fish off the bridge.  I'm there every other day, all year long.
    At first, there were wood planks across the entrance with warning signs.  Of course, I straddled over them and ran the island.  That was paranoia like none I ever experienced with the dog.  Within weeks, there was a seven-feet high fence walled over the planks.
     Can you even guess what individual suggested condemning the bridge?  lfb.  Even got a state senator involved.  I'll bet they agreed to allow the beaver and muskrat trappers to cross it. 
     I do two turns around the lake, now, every other day.  Been months since I've seen lfb.  Just as well, only thing left is for her to run over me.
     Ranger Rick did tell me, years after the fact, that the original arrest wasn't personal, someone complained.