YOUR BEST SEX IS IN YOUR HEAD

by H.K. Phillips

My wife was taking a shower and I was talking to her about the TV ad saleslady who had come to see the store manager the day before.
"This chick does the most with wardrobe and makeup. She was wearing an iridescent green silk blouse with sort of a military tuck detailing, tailor-fit light tan slacks with a matching cloth belt and large buckle. Her shoes were tan pumps with about 3/4-inch heels. I mean John was digging on her with the tongues hanging out of his eyeballs until she began to take the easy way and started selling with personal seduction. It was subliminal, but I'm sure his interpretation was that she was trying to get into his pants. That's the way those dudes are, they get intrigued by a female and figure she is coming on to them."
"Those dudes?" she interjected, sticking her head out from behind the shower curtain.
"Yeah...well us dudes, then."
"I think I've seen you in that scenario."
"Don't know about that, but a dude starts thinking about all the possibilities and starts believing it is really happening. Some even end up telling it like it really took place. They even furnish details. In fact, I know guys who make such a habit of it, all they know is what is in their head. These chumps couldn't pull Lassie with a pound of ground round, but they tell about ballin' and gettin' over with more women than they've been introduced to, let alone been intimate with. I'm tellin' ya, baby, by the time a dude reaches my age, he has heard so many different versions of the same lie, he just wants to look 'em in the eye and tell them to save the story for somebody who wants to hear it in order to embellish it and re-tell it, later."
Men, no matter how you feel about hetero-, homo-, or bi-sexuality, if you have outside plumbing, you are the same as all of these. We needn't judge how others plug into outlets. Many men have tried to get their wives to perform one or more sexual acts they feel is unnatural when performed between male partners. They may even pay for the services as long as a woman gets the money.
Every man is aware that masturbation is the simplest means to the end of an erection. Women can initiate an orgasm but the area of manipulation is subtle, unlike a fist-full of penis. So, the majority of females await the massage of an engorged male organ to attain orgasm. Men will always be able to get off easier than women. A female who can masturbate as easily as a man must be practiced.
Take any group of men engaged in any activity from pool to polo and they will be enjoying each other's company until a woman comes onto the scene. The moment a foxy chick is introduced into the fray, the competition will destroy the camaraderie that existed before.
Most young men make up facts about their sexual exploits. Peer pressure may force us to falsify our carnal knowledge before any actual experience. All guys lie about the amount and quality of the sex they have or don't have. The less one is pressed to say exactly what he is inferring, the more likely he is to continue leading listeners to assumptions. He is as prone to lie about getting laid as he is not given to announce the practice of polishing the whip handle.
As soon as he begins to imagine things he would enjoy doing with an erection, he may begin to allude to fantasies as if they are facts. Explicit details are rarely necessary and preliminary descriptions are seldom challenged. That smile with just a hint of mischievousness does more to indicate to others whether or not you scored tha a roomful of rhetoric. Just try to deny that which your expression has already implied. You will be induced to smile some more, adding to the delusion. In time, we find it easier to make upincidences than it is to describe an actual act of intercourse. False reputations are made by intentional lies from guys who aren't screwing anybody but their audience.On the other hand, there is some satisfying elegance about suppressing details of sex which everyone assumes you are engaged in.
Sex is such a powerful natural urge that it is difficult to be delayed or denied for lengths of time. Everything else being equal, sex is the driving force in males. Once the sex glands reach maturity and the body which nourishes them is relatively healthy, the relinguishing of sperm is imminent. Praying, playing, staying or straying will not alleviate the desire to sire.. It is the commonality which binds all men as brothers, so regardless of size, a hard-on is the same for all races, colors and political pursuasions.
Obviously, males would be under far less pressure if they didn't have to contend with sexual drives. The most difficult way to relieve the intensity may be inserting it into a female counterpart organ, especially for a kid who is basically fearful of failure with girls. The safest and easiest way is masturbation. Most men are less stressed when they finally give up bachelorhood for married life. Many others, for whatever variety of reasons, find sexual satisfaction in a myriad of ways. Since all males are physically capable of bi-sexual activity and women, in general, are freer to refuse advances, homosexuality seems to be an alternative practice.
Inserting a full-blown erection into an anal tract takes a fair amount of cooperation by the receiver or unusual force by the giver. Butt coitus is the ultimate dominance-submissive position. There is little argument this is an infrequent procedure between two loving humans who are mutually consenting for the gratification of both. I believe that rear-ending is a rare method, compared to all other forms of sexual conduct. Yet, it is one of the most popular fantasies of men. A rounded bottom conjures joys, whether attached to the backs of girls or boys. Decades ago, when that DEEP THROAT star claimed in a PLAYBOY interview that taking it in the ass was her second-most favorite way, thousands of men wanted her forthwith. Or forthcoming.
Within a short time of being sexual satisfied, a man will be thinking of his next encounter. The reason is because we think about sex alot. You may see him checking out the checker at the market, moments after a morn-er, noon-er or night-er with his wife. He can't purge the urge when he sees that bootie swish, that thigh shot, long hair, seductive mouth or any of a thousand different things which turn him on. It's just the male, man.
None of us has ever gotten all we dream of getting. If a man tells you he is getting all he thinks about, you can believe he is content with less than you. Some may be getting all they say, perhaps lots more than you, but it isn't all they think about getting. If a man is limited to only once a year, you can bet he is visualizing about next year.
If a newlywed is keeping score and the tally seems exceptionally more than the number of times an ordinary man may consider a chore, there is little doubt it isn't as many as the groom was thinking when he closed the bedroom door. Early on, the married state is figured to be the benchmark for attaining constant sexual satisfaction. Of course, this is not the case. Any honest married man will admit he has sex far less often than he'd expected from his wife. When children arrive, the fulfillment of expectations diminish proportionately.
Accepted pairings of men with women doesn't subjugate other desires for sexual expression. Sexual fantasies will continue, regardless of which path to pleasure one chooses. As a result of a recent emphasis on the erosion of traditional roles, more and more females are likely to feel the need to inflate their hedonistic pursuits or pursuers. Borrowing from males, they insist on telling others about trysts which presume to lead to a bedroom or boardroom door, onto a carpeted floor, in lodges, motels, hotels and houses; wherever fits the allusion to an illusion. The tail's end.
Your best sex is in your head, otherwise you'd only do it once. Just don 't bother me with your in-your-end-ohs or in-sin-you-ate shuns.